Hello all it has been a very long time since I have posted a blog.  A lot has been going on with me.  I do read your blogs every now and then and see things are going good for you all.  I have a lot to post as well as some pics but the first thing first. 

The latest thing going on in my life right now is that I want to relocate.

At first I was gung ho about ATL but while doing research ATL is over populated,  alot of Gay men, A lot of thirsty Women and the list goes on.  So what I have found out is that Dallas is the next thing Comparable to Atlanta.  I am really leaning towards Dallas it seems like it's up and coming along with the Carolinas.  I don;t want to move to the Carolina's because it's a little to slow for me and the pay as far as jobs are concerned isn't that great. Right now I live in Columbus ohio and I am just looking for a change. I'm 26, single, no kids and just ready for something new.  I have been in Columbus all my life and nothing has changed at all, everyone is doing the same ol, same ol.  I just feel like I need a change.  I graduated and I have a decent job but just ready for something different.

So with that being said does anyone know anything about the Dallas Area good or bad?  I have been on a lot of blogs but wanted to get some insight from my xanga family.

Thanks for listening.  I'll catch you guys up on the rest later.

Hello guys it's been way too long.  I don't really know where to begin but I will start with this past weekend...

First I just wanna know why when your in love or when you love a person so much why do you feel so confused, happy, scared, great and so many other emotions all at the same time.  It so crazy.  I am feeling this way about my ex.  I love him so much but I had to cut our friendship off this weekend.  My heart can't take it anymore. *sighs*  Of course everyone knows who reads my blogs that I have known him for 4 years, two years we were in a relationship the other two years we have been close friends.  Some of that time sex was included and some of the time we just kept it on the friend level.  Well we talk often but until this past friday I haven't seen him for 8 weeks so when we seen each other again it was like fire.. it was the best we had a really good time.  we went to dinner, the movies, talked, laughed, caught up.. but it just kills me because it seems so right but then were not together.  So Sunday I called him and told him that if we can't be together then we shouldn't be friends because my heart can't take it, and he just said that' he's single right now and trying to find himself, and that he still wanted to be my friend and he hopes I change my mind.  So I thought about it, and I do still want to be his friend but we have to have rules when we see each other.. no hugs, no kisses and for sure NO SEX!!!!.  It's just to hard to bear because I still love him.  When I don;t see him I think I am over him but as soon as I do see him all the feelings coming rushing back like I'm in middle school or something.  I mean it's so crazy because when i think of my children, my family, my older days I think of this man.. and I don't know if it's because he's supposed to be the one or because that's all I've known for the last 4 years.  I know it's probley the second one but still I love him so much and I hate I feel like this about him but I would rather us not talk or see each other until I can at least get him out of my heart and be okay kissing him or hugging him.  I prayed for god ti take these feelings away if he is not the one so we will see what happens.  I have prayed for this before but the feelings are still there so I'm so lost.  It's so crazy because on so many other issues I have it together or give the best advice, but when it comes to love for this man I am so so lost, so confused.  So for now I choose to let him go by having no contact, even though deep down I know this is not what I want I know this is what has to be done to heal my heart or to get rid of my love for him.  It's so crazy because any little thing that happens in my day or any thought I want to call him and we talk about it as always, I think that's the hardest thing for me is really loosing my friend  But God knows all things I just wish it didn't have to be so darn hard!!

Feel free to leave your thoughts or comments because I'm so lost!!